My Mom wasn’t thrilled with the idea of me playing “rock music” but she said that I could buy a guitar with my own money if that’s what I wanted to spend it on. That’s all the motivation a 14-year-old me needed to go out and find my first job washing dishes.
By 15, I was writing terrible songs on my new guitar, smoking cigarettes and swearing a lot with my best buddies in our parents’ basements and garages. At age 22, after a mental health hiatus, I decided to return to college to attempt to finish a degree while trying my hand at solo barroom gigs. That was 17 years ago and since then I’ve played somewhere in the vicinity of 3,000 gigs, mostly in the CNY and Western NY regions.
In 2013, I ditched my 9 to 5 job in favor of full-time musician status. It’s not uncommon for me to perform anywhere from 150 to 250 gigs annually,
mostly in restaurants, barrooms, and small venues. I’ve hosted a weekly open mic at a venue called Old City Hall in Oswego, NY for roughly 13 years… well, at least I did until COVID-19 closed their doors back in March. Their doors are still closed. I hope they reopen. My community has embraced Old City’s weekly open mic and I’ve rubbed elbows with countless musicians and community members there over the years. This event has also gifted me with the opportunity to help mentor less experienced musicians of all ages and to help them better acclimate to the performing environment.
I’m a second-term board member and program director at The Oswego Music Hall (Ontario Center for Performing Arts); a 200 seat, non-profit, “listening room” venue that hosts around 40 events per season. The Music Hall would have just kicked off its 43rd season but its doors are currently closed due to COVID.
I’ve lost many gigs and a lot of income as a result of COVID-19. My mental health has suffered greatly. Bipolar Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder are among the cards that I’ve been dealt in life. Music and music performance serve as coping mechanisms and have been essential in helping me to successfully manage these mental health issues. Since the shutdown began, it has become increasingly more difficult to remain in a good headspace. I know there are a lot of others out there that can relate.
Silver linings? Sure, there are always silver linings to be found amidst negative situations if you have that type of mindset. I’ve found some and I hope you have too.
As Fall sets in, I’m currently finishing up what remains of a sparse, strange and socially-distanced outdoor gig season that yielded nowhere near what a normal summer season would have in terms of shows and income. I started performing virtually on social media back in March, as did the rest of my peers who weren’t already doing so before the shutdown. Virtual gigs are a lot of fun and are helping financially but the market is saturated and I’m not wild about being beholden to social media platforms and internet providers for income. I also don’t like the fact that performing virtually doesn’t help the local and regional venues that have been keeping me alive for years. Also, there’s no replacement for an in-person human exchange of energy.
These days I’m living as modestly as possible while making amends with the fact that I may have to start looking elsewhere for gainful employment. One day at a time. I never intended to be a 39-year-old full-time musician but alas, here I am. Sure, I arrived here through a series of decisions and a lot of hard work but like many careers, I consider this one to be “a calling” more than anything else. When I pick up my guitar to work on a new tune or to revisit an old one, I feel alive. When I finish a gig I’m reinvigorated with a desire to keep trudging forward and I’m reminded that this life chose me and not the other way around. I’ve worked other jobs but none as well and as passionately as this one. We need music and the arts to be our best selves yet we live in a culture where funding for these societal necessities is typically the first thing on the chopping block. Music and the arts are at the center of most everything we enjoy as a society. Go ahead and scratch the surface of anything you love and take a good look inside; you’re sure to find a byproduct of human creativity in there.
For those of you who would enjoy a world completely void of privately owned businesses and local music, you may not have long to wait. Big box shops, online shopping, fast food chains and computer-generated and enhanced music have been pushing mom & pop and indie musicians further toward extinction for a long time now. This shutdown has only served to exacerbate and accelerate this sad reality. Music and the arts aren’t optional. We need them and they need us too.
John McConnell
Oswego, NY